How to say “NO” without guilt
Did you know that “No.” is a complete sentence? It requires no follow-up. That is hard for a lot of people to grasp, however. I get it. I’ve been there.
Ok, sometimes I am still there – I’m a people pleaser! You want to lend a hand, make someone feel special or be a team player, BUT at what expense?
It’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you set boundaries, they will be less likely to continually ask so much of you.
Try to default to a “no” response through practice. Make “no” an automatic response by saying something like this: Thanks for reaching out, let me get back to you. This gives you the space to process the request. This prevents you from blurting out “yes!” or “maybe,” which makes saying no later harder.
This week we are going to explore different ways to give yourself the opportunity to say “no” guilt-free.
We will explore how to say no effectively, politely and in different power dynamics. No more “I’m sorry, but…” It gives the opportunity for someone to see your weakness (guilt) and try to change your mind.
You may feel the guilt or worry of saying no. It will feel uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t stop you. You have what it takes and you can bounce back, I promise!
It’s amazing how much easier it is to say no when you have many friendly, but firm, ways in your back pocket. Here are a few scenarios to get you excited for the week of saying NO.
I will go into more depth on what each type of guilt-free no is in The Hassle-Free Family Facebook Discussion.
I barely talk to this person and they are asking me to help them move.
Thought Process: They must really need help if they are asking me. I am free on that day, so I could do it. However, I was trying to slow down my calendar commitments so I could spend more time with my family on the weekends.
The Guilt-Free No: No, I made a promise to myself that I would start prioritizing my family time, to have more balance in my life, but I wish you tons of success on your move.
We were invited to another kid’s birthday party this year.
Thought Process: I know how special birthdays are when you are a child. I was going to spend that day cleaning out the closets. Maybe we could swing by for a break, but I really don’t want to take that much time away.
The Guilt-Free No: Thanks for asking us, but that isn’t going to work for us. I hope you guys have a blast!
I am asked to add another duty to my workload.
Thought Process: That is going to add so much to my plate – it’s time consuming. I know I would be great and that’s why they are asking. I don’t want to look like I’m not a team player, but I know my other work will suffer.
The Guilt-Free No: I’m Concerned I won’t be able to give this new project the attention it deserves and XYZ would suffer. Do you want me to shift my focus?
I’m so excited to share even more scenarios and scripts with you this week! What’s the biggest NO you need help with? Drop it below in the comments!
Personal Experience 😊
Not a part of The Hassle-Free Family yet? Drop your info right here and we’ll hook you up.