True or False: My Love is Taken for Granted
If you answered TRUE, you are not alone. Many of us go through life truly trying to give love and get love; and it’s possible that somewhere along the way you felt like you were giving more and getting less. This can be true in all types of relationships; personal and professional.
I give more than I get
Did you ever experience an “imbalance of love” from: a parent who didn’t understand you? A partner who was all wrong for you? Do you have a child that doesn’t know how much you do behind the scenes? All of these might be true and all might also have to do with the way we give and receive love.
This phenomenon is summed up by a concept called The 5 Love Languages; coined by Gary Chapman and used as the basis of numerous books to help us each give and get love in the language that makes the most sense to us as individuals.
Sound intriguing? Read on to find out your specific primary and secondary love languages – these are the two things that help you feel most loved and often the main way you express love to other people.
The 5 Love Languages
The 5 Love Languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. If you want an easy way to try out all 5 of these love languages in your relationship, give this Reconnection Challenge a shot. and I know that “food” is not a love language per se but maybe your partner would appreciate this luscious homemade lava cake as a special treat.
A simple way to find your love languages are through this quiz: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
Does this scenario sound familiar? You make it a point to clean the house and ensure all the dishes are done immediately after dinner. After all, you LOVE a clean house and you think he appreciates it too. Meanwhile they sit on the couch to watch TV.
You’re thinking “they care more about that dang TV show than helping me out with these chores! It would make me feel happier and less stressed if they helped every now and then” and they are thinking “She cares more about having a clean house than a loving relationship, she’s not interested in coming over to spend time with me – all I want her to do is sit down and spend some time with me.”
This type of disconnect happens when the recipient has completely different love languages than you – do you see how you can give and give and think you’re doing it right and they don’t recognize any love at all? In this scenario, you’re giving love through an Act of Service while they want Quality Time.
Love Languages in the Workplace
A workplace scenario might look like this. A team of 5 employees exceeds expectations on a project so the boss gives them all an expensive watch to commemorate the job well done. 2 of the employees are thrilled and the other 3 think that was such a waste of money and actually complain to other employees about their disappointment.
What’s going on in this situation? The two who love the watch have a primary language of Receiving Gifts. The other three simply have other primary languages of appreciation. It has been proven that in the workplace, ONLY THE PRIMARY language of love and appreciation matters to the employee while in personal relationships, all 5 Love Languages live on a spectrum. Employees only “give points” for hitting that primary love language and spouses or partners in relationships get varying amounts of credit for each of the 5 love languages.
Want to learn more about how The 5 Love Languages can help you have a more harmonious and Hassle-Free Family? Join us over in the Facebook group or use the form below to have the series sent directly to your email inbox.
I can’t wait to hear how you put the 5 Love Languages to work. Drop a comment below to share.
💝 Diana
